know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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