But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
