Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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