ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
