Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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