I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
