my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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