I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
