She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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