I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
