Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
