there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
