So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
