Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
