The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
