He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
