More tranny stories later!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
