omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
