Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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