I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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