Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
