he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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