drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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