so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
