Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
