New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
and you fell through a lawn chair
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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