Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
