If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
