Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
