i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize