So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
