last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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