think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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