my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
