shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
