that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
