ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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