Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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