No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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