I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
