yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
