My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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