You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
