He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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