I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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