He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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