Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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