...so i touched it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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