Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
