New low: just hacked my moms facebook
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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