am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
